Beauty pageant boo boos

Best of the Best Beauty Pageant Boo Boos

this was e-mailed to me by my cousin.
i laughed my ass off when i read
it so i thought i'd post it here..
hope you enjoy reading it..
i know i did.. ;-p

Host: Saan ang dream vacation mo?

Girl Contestant : Amangpulo.

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Host: What was the very first gift that you gave to your girlfriend?

Male Contestant: Uhmm...taptoy.

Host: What taptoy?

Male Contestant: Taptoy na teddy bird.

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Host:What's your ideal age for marriage?

Girl: Uhm, uhm, I am not sure....

Host: Hindi, kunwari ikaw, more or less.

Girl: Uhmm… more. (Crowd booing... ) Sige, Sige. Less, less....

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Host: If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines?

Girl Contestant : Bocaue.

Host: Bocaue. Why Bocaue? There are so many places in the

Philippines? Why Bocaue?

Girl: Because it's a magnificent place.

Host: Which part of Bocaue?

Girl: The Bocaue Rice Terraces. (Banawe Kaya Yon!!)

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The contestant, presenting herself, talks into the mic and says, "Hi! I'm Cristine Reyes from Bagiuo…,"

and then she turns around, walks a little, goes back then yells at the top of her lungs! Then shouts,

"CITYYYYYYYY!!!!"

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(From Little Miss Philippines)

Host: Anong gusto mo pag-laki mo?

Girl: Maging lalaki po!

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Host: Who's your favorite author?

Contestant: Danielle Steele

Host: Why Danielle Steele?

Contestant: Because, because… Danielle Steele, I like best.

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Host: How would you like me to address you?

Contestant: My address is Project 8, Quezon City.

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Host: What is your best feature?

Contestant: My graduation feature.

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Host: So tell us, why did join this contest?

Contestant: Me, join this contest, why did I. Thank you!

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Host: What do you want to be after you graduate?

Contestant: I want to be a successful Medicine.

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Host: Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube. Pero tinatawag itong

boobtube. Ano ito?

Contestant: BRA!

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Host: What is you favorite motto?

Contestant: If others can't why, why can't I!

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Host: What would you like to say to foreigners?

Contestant: Please come back.

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(From a gay beauty contest)

Host: What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?

Gay contestant: (Stops, thinks and then smiles.) EGGPLANT PO!

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Host: What is your typical day?

Contestant: I think Saturday po!

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(From a gay beauty contest)

Host: Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?

Gay Contestant: I think and

believe na bilang isang bading.... ano nga po ulit yung question?

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Host: Which part of your body is your best asset?

Contestant: (Believe it or not she answered) Si Melanie Marquez po!

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Host: What is your favorite motto?

Contestant: (After a long pause) I don't have a motto eh. (So the crowd starts helping her out. The crowd starts saying "Time is gold! Time is gold!")

Contestant: I have na po. Chinese gold!

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Host: If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?"

Contestant: That's a

very good question. Keep it up. (Then the girl turns and walks away.)

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Host: So, you're vegetarian, what is your favorite vegetable?

Contestant: I like potatoes, tomatoes, beans and what's that? KALABASH?

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Host: What is your motto?

Contestant: Actor! (Everyone starts laughing.) Aay, actress pala.

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Host: Who is your favorite fictional character?

Girl: JOSE RIZAL! (Crowd starts laughing.)

Host: Who is your favorite hero then?

Girl: Hulk Hogan.

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Host: If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?

Girl Contestant: Uhmm... a bumble bee!

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Host: What is your edge over the other contestants?

Girl Contestant: My edge.... 23 years old.

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Host: What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?

Girl: Between 24 and 25!

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Host: How do you see yourself 10 years from now?

Girl: I'll be 28.

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Host: Describe your love one in three words.

Girl: Kahit nga po 1 word, kaya ko.

Host: OK, sige!

Girl: In one word, MY LIFE!

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Host: If you were given any special power, what would it be?

Girl: Power of Attorney!

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Host: So you like reading, who's your favorite author?

Girl: Uhmm, Shakespeare.

Host: What works of Shakespeare?

Girl: Hindi ko po alam eh.

Host: But he's your favorite.

Girl: Eh kasi patay na sya eh.

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Host: What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?

Girl: Drugs.

Host: Why?

Girl: Mahal eh!

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Host: What is the essence of being gay?

Contestant: I'm proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to the eye!

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Host: What makes you blush?

Girl: Blush on!

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Host: What is the essence of a man?

Gay Contestant: Testicles!

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Host: Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here? Did you ride or did you walk?

Gay Contestant: Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did you walk?

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p.s. hung over and boozed out (part 2) will be posted on sunday.. :D feel ko lang.. hehehe...