kleinhardtgambit

goodbye blogger!!

2005-11-12T23:03:00.000+08:00

click here to visit my new home. :D

i just started this account with i.ph and i'm liking it so far. configurations are way too different than to what i've been accustomed to with blogger but i'm starting to get the hang of it..

see you there!!

curacha month

2005-10-28T09:50:00.000+08:00

15 day "curacha"

as it turns out, i wouldn't be getting any decent rest once the Shifrin Local College Study starts. Here's my schedule for the next three weeks.

------------------------------
Pre-study

Pre-briefing FGD: 26 Oct, 3:30am
*duration: 1 hour

Shifrin Briefing: 27 Oct, 3:30am
*duration: 1 hour

Week 1
October 28: 3 - 11am
October 29: 3 - 9am; 10pm - 6am
October 30 : 11pm - 7am

Week 2
November 1 - 4: 3 - 11am
November 5: 3 - 9am; 10pm - 6am
November 6 - 7: OFF

Week 3
November 8 - 11: 3 - 11am
November 12: 3 - 9am; 10pm - 6am
November 13: OFF / end of study
------------------------------------

if you want to be me for the next three weeks, please, let me know ASAP!! i'm in dire need of a replacement..

hung-over and boozed out (part 2)

2005-10-25T04:04:00.000+08:00

hung-over and boozed out

(part 2)

it was 3am and we still didn't feel like going home. the kitchen at papa jek's already closed so we decided to go somewhere else. i was already running out of cash so i had to run to the nearest ATM vestibule while they percolated on where to go next. when i got back, everything was already planned out.

riverbooze wasn't that far from papa jek's. it closes at 5am which, i thought, was absolutely perfect. what's even better is they have a promo for beer drinkers which is 5bottles plus one so we started off with one round of beer and a plate of pork and fried tofu (in short, tokwa't baboy). and with michael jackson playing on the background, we started boozing the night away.

15mins later, we noticed that the house band was setting up their instruments. i then started telling my friends that i once jammed with the house band at Friends bar in el Pueblo. two minutes later, i realized that i should have kept my mouth shut.

normally, i wouldn't do it. ha!! kidding.. if you know me too well, you would probably even think that the reason i told the story in the first place was because i want my friends to shove me to the stage, right? WRONG!! actually, i'm kidding again. of course i did!! i had to do something to make it a fun night, right? so i asked the band if they could play "through the fire" by chaka khan. well, they couldn't. so i went back to my seat and we ordered another round of beer.
you probably know that last part was bull, right? c'mon, you think i would just give up jsut because they couldn't play one lousy song? of course not!! i asked them if they could play something else. and after much deliberation, i ended up singing claire marlowe's "til they take my heart away." and when i got back to my seat, they were already getting ready for round two.

after one more round, you can tell that not a single person is sober in our table. i think the only one who can still think straight was jeff because he was the assigned driver for the night. if you exclude him, every single one of us would probably be blowing a 0.09 on a Breathalyzer.

round three.. things were starting to heat up. i was sooo drunk that i was chugging down beer as if it was iced tea on a hot summer's day. when kim noticed (kim's a guy, by the way), he challenged me to drink a glass of beer straight up and with me being drunk and all, i accepted the challenge. and 15mins later, he challenged me again.

...to be continued

Beauty pageant boo boos

2005-10-22T12:25:00.000+08:00

Best of the Best Beauty Pageant Boo Boos

this was e-mailed to me by my cousin.
i laughed my ass off when i read
it so i thought i'd post it here..
hope you enjoy reading it..
i know i did.. ;-p

Host: Saan ang dream vacation mo?

Girl Contestant : Amangpulo.

---------------------------------

Host: What was the very first gift that you gave to your girlfriend?

Male Contestant: Uhmm...taptoy.

Host: What taptoy?

Male Contestant: Taptoy na teddy bird.

---------------------------------

Host:What's your ideal age for marriage?

Girl: Uhm, uhm, I am not sure....

Host: Hindi, kunwari ikaw, more or less.

Girl: Uhmm… more. (Crowd booing... ) Sige, Sige. Less, less....

---------------------------------

Host: If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines?

Girl Contestant : Bocaue.

Host: Bocaue. Why Bocaue? There are so many places in the

Philippines? Why Bocaue?

Girl: Because it's a magnificent place.

Host: Which part of Bocaue?

Girl: The Bocaue Rice Terraces. (Banawe Kaya Yon!!)

---------------------------------

The contestant, presenting herself, talks into the mic and says, "Hi! I'm Cristine Reyes from Bagiuo…,"

and then she turns around, walks a little, goes back then yells at the top of her lungs! Then shouts,

"CITYYYYYYYY!!!!"

---------------------------------

(From Little Miss Philippines)

Host: Anong gusto mo pag-laki mo?

Girl: Maging lalaki po!

---------------------------------

Host: Who's your favorite author?

Contestant: Danielle Steele

Host: Why Danielle Steele?

Contestant: Because, because… Danielle Steele, I like best.

---------------------------------

Host: How would you like me to address you?

Contestant: My address is Project 8, Quezon City.

---------------------------------

Host: What is your best feature?

Contestant: My graduation feature.

---------------------------------

Host: So tell us, why did join this contest?

Contestant: Me, join this contest, why did I. Thank you!

---------------------------------

Host: What do you want to be after you graduate?

Contestant: I want to be a successful Medicine.

---------------------------------

Host: Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube. Pero tinatawag itong

boobtube. Ano ito?

Contestant: BRA!

---------------------------------

Host: What is you favorite motto?

Contestant: If others can't why, why can't I!

---------------------------------

Host: What would you like to say to foreigners?

Contestant: Please come back.

---------------------------------

(From a gay beauty contest)

Host: What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?

Gay contestant: (Stops, thinks and then smiles.) EGGPLANT PO!

---------------------------------

Host: What is your typical day?

Contestant: I think Saturday po!

---------------------------------

(From a gay beauty contest)

Host: Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?

Gay Contestant: I think and

believe na bilang isang bading.... ano nga po ulit yung question?

---------------------------------

Host: Which part of your body is your best asset?

Contestant: (Believe it or not she answered) Si Melanie Marquez po!

---------------------------------

Host: What is your favorite motto?

Contestant: (After a long pause) I don't have a motto eh. (So the crowd starts helping her out. The crowd starts saying "Time is gold! Time is gold!")

Contestant: I have na po. Chinese gold!

---------------------------------

Host: If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?"

Contestant: That's a

very good question. Keep it up. (Then the girl turns and walks away.)

---------------------------------

Host: So, you're vegetarian, what is your favorite vegetable?

Contestant: I like potatoes, tomatoes, beans and what's that? KALABASH?

---------------------------------

Host: What is your motto?

Contestant: Actor! (Everyone starts laughing.) Aay, actress pala.

---------------------------------

Host: Who is your favorite fictional character?

Girl: JOSE RIZAL! (Crowd starts laughing.)

Host: Who is your favorite hero then?

Girl: Hulk Hogan.

---------------------------------

Host: If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?

Girl Contestant: Uhmm... a bumble bee!

---------------------------------

Host: What is your edge over the other contestants?

Girl Contestant: My edge.... 23 years old.

---------------------------------

Host: What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?

Girl: Between 24 and 25!

---------------------------------

Host: How do you see yourself 10 years from now?

Girl: I'll be 28.

---------------------------------

Host: Describe your love one in three words.

Girl: Kahit nga po 1 word, kaya ko.

Host: OK, sige!

Girl: In one word, MY LIFE!

---------------------------------

Host: If you were given any special power, what would it be?

Girl: Power of Attorney!

---------------------------------

Host: So you like reading, who's your favorite author?

Girl: Uhmm, Shakespeare.

Host: What works of Shakespeare?

Girl: Hindi ko po alam eh.

Host: But he's your favorite.

Girl: Eh kasi patay na sya eh.

---------------------------------

Host: What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?

Girl: Drugs.

Host: Why?

Girl: Mahal eh!

---------------------------------

Host: What is the essence of being gay?

Contestant: I'm proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to the eye!

---------------------------------

Host: What makes you blush?

Girl: Blush on!

---------------------------------

Host: What is the essence of a man?

Gay Contestant: Testicles!

---------------------------------

Host: Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here? Did you ride or did you walk?

Gay Contestant: Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did you walk?

----------------------------------

p.s. hung over and boozed out (part 2) will be posted on sunday.. :D feel ko lang.. hehehe...

hugs hugs hugs

2005-10-20T16:30:00.000+08:00

. . hugs - hugs - hugs . .

*HUGS* TOTAL!

give ardee more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own

hung-over and boozed out

2005-10-17T15:08:00.000+08:00

hung-over and boozed out

(part 1)

for the past two years, my friends and i have been contented with hanging out at one house boozing the night away by mixing our own concoctions. but last friday, it being payday and all, abeth decided to go out to a nearby bar for a change. we went there with a couple of friends to have fun for about an hour or two not knowing that there's something bigger planned for us.

there weren't that much people around (to think that Riverside was San Miguel's Oktoberfest venue for that night) we hung out at Papa Jek's, ordered beer for starters and a platter of calamares, chicken wings and nuggets. the night started slow, however, after the first hour, things started to pick up quite fast.

we hooked up with some guys, who happens to be acquainted to one of the friends that we were with that night, at around 1am. as it turns out, they've been there a bit earlier than us but didn't feel like going home yet so they decided to join us for a few more rounds. apparently, the kitchen closes at 2am and at that time, things were just starting to heat up. ergo, we picked our asses up and moved to the closest bar that we could find.

...to be continued

diZziZzitt...

2005-10-13T16:35:00.000+08:00

diZziZzitt...

tapos na po.. bow.. :p

after 48 years..

2005-10-12T16:57:00.000+08:00

after 48 years...

after weeks of waiting, we finally get to do something at work today.
schedule is as follows (in CST):

3:00pm – 5:00pm
CATI Training / Briefing

5:00pm onwards
Dry Run (Live Calls)

to those of you who doesn't know yet, i haven't been associated with PeopleSupport since 30 August 2005. i resigned my post as e-Rep and indemnified the wonderful opportunity given to me the company. To be honest, the decision didn't come easy because of the company's generous recompense for my employment. However, after long hours of consideration, my decision was final and I believe that this change will actualy be for the better.

I'm currently working for Medicall (Philippines), Inc. as a Market Research Associate (which is actually the job i hoped to land after college) and since this is the first time Medicall ventured into Market Research, we were in limbo for the past couple of weeks.

I did inbound sales for over a year at PeopleSupport and my job experience wouldn't really do me that much good. I don't think i'll encounter any problems comm-skills-wise, however, this is the first time that i'll embark in the "outbound" world of the call center business and i'm having doubts as to whether or not i can do this. well, i know i could but you can't blame me for worrying. after all, we all know how outbound calling works.
ho well.. it's an hour before my shift and i feel like i need to psyche myself up to avoid any panic attacks, whatsoever. truth is, i just want this day to be over..
wish me luck.. :D

which endless are you?

2005-10-11T02:58:00.000+08:00

which endless are you?

Desire, the fifth of The Endless, yours is the realm of lust, want, passion, and, of course, desire. You tend to be selfish, only concerning yourself with your own needs, and you have no scruples about using your absolute draw over the opposite sex to get your way. You love being around people, because it's never long before they give in to your will.

Which Endless are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

putting things into perspective

2005-10-09T15:38:00.000+08:00

putting things into perspective

i still remember what happened when i turned 22 and, i'm telling you, it was not a good picture. it was one of my all time lows since high school and looking back made me realize that what came to me was a certain fear of growing up.

(it has been) two years since the "great depression" and i couldn't be more happy with how my life turned out. i have been blessed with a family who stood by me despite my puerility; friends, both old and new, who put up with all my idiosyncrasies; two adorable nephews who are angels when taken individually yet too much to handle when together; and, of course, God who never left my side even at times when i tend to ignore his presence.

over the past 22 years, i have complained a lot (more than you can ever imagine). i was never contented, and i never cease to ask for more. i have gone from hopelessly romantic, to cranky bitch, to being stoic, that i didn't even notice the small blessings that had come my way. i forgot to appreciate simple acts of kindness and the little things that made my life complete. bottomline is, i've lost a particular perspective that could have made life a whole lot easier.

they say that as you get older, you start to see things in a different way. responsibilities start to build up and there seems to be no way out. change (as the cliche goes) is inevitable and there's nothing that you can do about it. you have to go with the flow instead of being caught adrift. you have to roll with the punches, embrace life, and you'll be surprused to see that you're living life the way it was meant to be lived..

what do you want to do with your life?

2005-10-06T17:16:00.000+08:00

what do you want to do with your life?

if you've watched "A Walk to Remember," you'll probably have an idea as to what i'm about to write about. Jamie Sullivan (Mandy Moore) had a list of things to do which includes (1) be in two places at once, (2) join the peace corp, (3) befriend someone you hate, and (4) get married in the same church where her parents took their vows. and weird enough, it actually makes sense to have something to do before your time runs out. that way, you can live in peace thinking that you've done all the things that you wanted to do. starting a list isn't that hard. you can start with the basics such as keep my room clean or organize my filing cabinet. and once you've accomplished every single one of those, that's when you start to think big.

now, starting a list, it's a piece of cake. but keeping the list and making sure that everything is accomplished, that would be the hard part.

43things.com allows you to keep track of all the things that you want to do and have already done. what's nice about it though is you get to share your goals and write about them as well. you also get to see other people with common goals and you can also seek help from them if you find out that they've already accomplished the very same thing that you want to do. you also get to write comments about your goals and once you've accomplished them, you can rate them as "worth doing" and "not worth doing". the best part about it, though, is knowing that you're not alone.

so far, i made a list of 16things and i have accomplished two of them ("live in peace" which i rated as "not worth doing" and "finish a crossword puzzle without any help" which i rated as "worth doing!"). i still have 14 things on my list and i'm even thinking of adding more. i recommend this to everyone, especially to those like me who still doesn't have any idea as to what to do with their lives. it's a great way to put things in perspective and, at the same time, it gives your life a bit of direction.

... of bitterness and stoicism

2005-05-23T06:56:00.000+08:00

... of bitterness and stoicism
" a life without love is no life at all!!"
-leonardo da vinci (ever after)-

EVER AFTER is my all time favorite movie and for some weird reason, i felt like watching it all over again for the nth time. there are times when you feel like you need to watch a film just "because" .. and then there are times when you feel like watching a film because you want to be reminded of certain things.

truth be told, i don't believe in love anymore. Karen Carpenter was right when she said (or, better yet, sang) that "love is just a game that children play". it's a known fact that nothing lasts forever and love is no exemption. i believe that love has to come to an end one way or another. it was then that i finally realized that i have become the anti-thesis of my own past. the hopeless romantic kid that i used to be seemed hopeless still but romantic no more.

i have become stoic. it's been quite a while since i last felt, well, anything. i laugh but i barely cry. i don't know why but it seems like my tear ducts had run dry. i have embraced stoicism without having any second thoughts. and i felt freer than i ever was before.

i felt like i was living in utopia. i was following the norms and living up to the creed. i didn't care much about others and didn't care if people cared about me. i have become more of a realist an not, in any way, an idealist. i was on my own but i never felt alone. and as time passed by, i have learned to numb my soul.

with the way i was living my life, i was better off dead. that is exactly why i wanted to watch EVER AFTER because i need to be reminded of what love truly is. i needed to reaffirm my faith and believe something that once seemed true. i have to escape from the bottomless pit where i threw myself in head first and believe that something good can come out of the same thing i fear most...

pre - valentine's day jitters

2005-01-31T19:40:00.000+08:00

pre - valentine's day jitters

two weeks away from "single awareness day" and i don't think i'm handling it all too well... first of all, i'm sick!! i've had a recurring fever ever since friday and i haven't recovered ever since. i also have sinusitis which caused my nostrils to be clogged and to top it all, i have a splitting headache due to lack of sleep. now, that's probably just caused by an overworked anatomy, but what makes them significant is the fact that for the past few days, there have been events of compulsive spending, compulsive eating and some obssessive compulsive episodes that happen to be teasers leading to the main event!! and as much as i want to blame recent unfortunate events for all the drama, I CAN'T!! reason: there's no point holding on to something you never had a chance to grasp in the first place.

*sigh* now, the question still remains, "what to do? what to do? what to do?" i was thinking hanging out at starbucks, yet again, on Valentine's day (that would make it two years in a row..). shopping perhaps? a DVD marathon? or better yet, a dinner with single friends to prove that groups are better off than pairs. well, i really do not have any particular plans set yet i do have one wish: and that is to get through that freakin' day ALIVE!!

-----> next stop.. festival mall alabang!! :p stalker now..

the little prince

2004-12-13T06:09:00.000+08:00

the little prince

got this quiz from joy's blog. based on Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's the little prince..

You are the drawing.

Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz.
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-12-12T07:19:00.000+08:00

starting over...

it's been a while since i last created an entry and i feel like i've even forgotten how to write. i've decided to give dopp3lgang3r some time off and start over with a new blog.

anyway.. today is the 12th and i just realized that i've been working for people support for 8 months now. things are starting to be routinary yet, i can't believe that i still enjoy my job. some of my friends are even amazed that i lasted this long. most of them thought that i'd go on AWOL after two months but seems like i proved them wrong.

being a call center agent ain't that bad. unlike people with regular "day-jobs" i get to work at night, enjoy restdays on a regular working day, even get premium pays brought about by night diff and legal/special holidays and to top it all, i get to surf using a t1 connection!!

there are some drawback, though... one of which is i don't get to spend christmas, or new year, at home. i have learned to accept it though as early as May and i don't think of it that much of an issue. like the french say, cest la vie.

speaking of perks, i just got my 13th month pay last week. after checking my bank account online, i made it a point that i went to divisoria for some good finds (n.b. cheap good finds.. :p). i wasn't able to buy that much (well, at least compared to others) but i was contented. i bought this really cute midnight blue shirt with an air-brushed image of a dragon (P100.00), a butane lighter and a hands-free head set (P30 each). What made my day was the lava lamp worth only P350!!! I didn't have any sleep that day but it was totally worth it!!

past, present, and future

2004-10-20T18:34:00.000+08:00

past, present, and future

got this from survey friendster [one of those things that you just can't avoid]. i love that way it's presented to so i decided to post it here.

PAST... PRESENT... and FUTURE

10 Years Ago...
1. i was in grade 5
2. i participated in an interschool choric interpretation [the bells, by edgar allan poe]
3. i joined in the math-olympics and interschool science fair.
4. i was a little chubby

5 Years Ago..
1. i was a senior in high school
2. i selected advance biology as my elective class
3. i was a member of the high school glee club
4. i was out of control

3 Years Ago, I...
1. was a college sophomore
2. started a habit [smoking]
3. participated in a class play
4. was happy

A Year Ago, I...
1. was a college senior
2. started to experience quarterlife crisis
3. screwed up my life real bad!!
4. decided that i'm better of stoic

This Year I...
1. found a job
2. met new friends
3. started to hate indians
4. realized that there's no point crying over spilled milk

Yesterday, I...
1. felt like i had PMS
2. had to go to work really early
3. got my 1st QA score for the week
4. ate kwek-kwek and chicken balls along paseo de roxas

Today, I...
1. feel tired
2. want to go home
3. don't want to take any more calls
4. want to die!!!

Tomorrow I will...
1. go to work, AGAIN!!
2. have hot white chocolate at starbucks
3. try my best to update my blog
4. try my best to enjoy life

how soon is now

2004-10-05T14:41:00.000+08:00

how soon is now

i was on my way to work when two fagstags sat at the empty seat behind me. i wasn't quite sure as to what they were talking about but a certain part of their conversation caught my attention. one of them was actually asking the other the chorus part of "how soon is now," a song originally performed by The Smith's, then covered by Love Spit Love for "the craft - OST" then by t.A.t.U. to ruin the lives of people who actually love the song. first time i heard it was when WB used it as the opening theme song for Charmed and fell i totally fell in love with it. if you try to read between the lines, you find out that there's more to it than just a catchy tune.

How Soon Is Now
by Love Spit Love

I am the son
and I'm the hier
of a shyness
that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
of nothing inparticular

you shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does

I am the son
and I'm the hier
of a shyness
that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and hier
of nothing inparticular

you shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does

there's a club if you'd like to go
you could meet someone who really loves you
so you go and you stand on your own
and you leave on your own
and you go home and you cry and you want to die

when you say it's gonna happen now
when exactly do you mean?
see i've already waited too long
and all my hope is gone

no adult companion, no fair

2004-10-01T18:02:00.000+08:00

no adult companion, no fair

it's 3 o' clock in the morning and i'm two hours away from going home. i haven't had any decent sleep for the past couple of days and today is no exception. after work, i have to go to ateneo to accompany my 6 year old nephew to his 1st school fair. and rule for prep students: NO ADULT COMPANION, NO FAIR!! my sister couldn't make it because she's up against a deadline and my parents will be out of town. His dad has to work as well which leaves tito ardee as the most obvious choice!! It's been a while since i've been to a fair and more often than not, they are generally fun. i'm not quite sure though as to how it will go if you're tagging along a 6 year old kid. makes me feel like kate hudson in raising helen [watched the movie.. wasn't all that bad].

anyway, i'm actually 8 days away from turning 21 [yes, i'm officially moving one tick box up when filling out forms]. what i hate about it is i'm actually turning into one of those into-his-early-twenties people. not that it's bad but i find it unacceptable!! [no pun intended] can't i just say that i'm just 19 years old ... [pause] and 24 months old? wouldn't that be politically correct

moving forward.. san miguel will be holding OKTOBERFEST's opening tonight at meralco ave and i can't go becuase of my work schedule. as tempted as i am to call in, i really don't want to because it could really affect my schedule adherance and i don't want to be in the bottom part of the list again next time the company holds a shift bid. i was lucky enough that nobody wanted the shift that i bade for, otherwise, i would have gotten a shift which had days off on a weekday.

i think i've written just about enough, i've been typing for over an hour now [at the same time, taking calls.. by the way, my conversion for today's not bad.. at least i was able to end the month with a good conversion rate]. It's time to log-off now and head home. i'll try to take a nap when i get home so i won't feel so tired when i go to the fair. i'll just keep you posted if something comes up..

my latest LSS

2004-09-29T16:16:00.000+08:00

my latest LSS

i don't why but i can't get this song out of my head.. why do i have a feeling that it has something to do with the fact that i'm turning 21 in a week and a half and haven't found what i really wanted?! it's not that i haven't been in love, ever. i just find it weird, or better yet, SCARY that i'm growing old without someone to share what i've been through the past 21 years of my life. and it sucks to realize after being stoic for two whole years that i'm a hopeless romantic after all...

IF I BELIEVE
patti austin

If I believed in paradise
I'd swear I must be there
I'd swear I must be there right now with you
If I believed in miracles
I'd know that one was happening to me
But if I don't believe in paradise
Then miracles aren't real
Then someone tell me what is this I feel

I wanna believe it's love this time
I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie
But with you I can't deny
if I believed in paradise
I'd swear I'm there

If I believed in magic spells
It all would be so clear
'Cause magic spells must have brought you here
If I could see the future
I'd see if you and I were meant to be
But I dont know any magic
And tomorrow's just a dream
But something in this fantasy is real

I wanna believe it's love this time
I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie
I wanna believe it's love this time
I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie
But with you I cant deny
If I believed in paradise
I'd swear I'm there

I'm there
I'm there
If I believed.

black cats, broken mirrors and walking under ladders

2004-08-14T11:16:00.000+08:00

black cats, broken mirrors and walking under ladders

happy friday the 13th
earth below
sky beneath
bear the weight
of light and heat

it's a good thing i work graveyard - i just slept the whole friday the 13th away. the thing is, it may be four hours before the end of the so-called "cursed" day but my bad luck is just starting to kick in.

on my way to work, i just lighted a ciggie when some guy coming out of nowhere bumped me and knocked off the very last stick that i have. you have no idea how much i wanted to kill him!! and i don't really know what it is about today that i get ticked off easily. blaring horns from buses in edsa make me want to scream and girls gibberring oh-so-loudly and giggling like no one else is around makes me want to choke them till they run out of air to gasp!! arrrggghhh >.<

all i can do now is salvage whats left of the day.. that is - if it's still "salvageable" [is there even such a word?! i REALLY couldn't care any less..]..

the artist and the freak

2004-08-11T20:15:00.000+08:00

the artist and the freak

no one really appreciated anything that Vincent Van Gogh painted during his lifetime. people would even refer to his work as both morbid and grotesque and people would condemn him for using a palette of colors that are uncommon for what the norms can regard as "art." Now that he's gone, reproductions of his work can be bought for a minimum of $500 to as much as $5,000 An original Van Gogh was auctioned at Sotheby's April of last year with an estimated price ranging from $45,000 - 65,000. now HE IS AN ARTIST!!

part of being an artist is what we call "freedom of expression." how one expresses himself/herself proves that he/she is worthy of the title. well the thing is, in written forms of art called "literature", there are certain people who tend to over do it when using symbols and figures of speech that they tend to be an @ss and not care about the people who could be offended by the words that they use and the way that they put things into perspective. and recently, i just came across the worst kind of literary $hi+.

i was bothered by a bulletin board message that was posted on friendster last sunday. it was regarding someone who claims that he's my friend's ex-boyfriend and that he shot her point blank for cheating on him. he has a blog account called "confessions of a dangerous mind" and he entered a so-called "confession" last 10 march 2004 and this is what how he started his fallacious claim.

"everything was said and done. there's nothing more
to explain. it came so fast that i never saw her leaving me
at a wink of an eye. six years, it all ended in an instant.
it's all over.i dedicate these songs to my first girlfiend,
my high school sweetheart... - - - - -*..."
[*girl's name was mentioned]

.two days later, he wrote a follow-up "confession" :

here's some kickass break-up songs for that freak
whom i killed last march 10, 2004.
may she rest in peace... and rest in pieces...
(with that fucking fiance...damn! i wonder if it would
be purgatory or hell) now, if that fucking fiance of my first girlfriend
would have the balls to respond to this one, he must take a eat some
words first (or soap, like john cena having paul heyman
lick,bite, and swallow those ivory bars after a
wrestling match). burn in hell, dude!and it ended with:
--[girls complete name]--
3 january 1983-10 march 2004
PACEM IN REQUIESCAT

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

there's really no point into arguing about the intents of the freak who wrote all these b*ll$hit but the thing is, a lot of people were bothered by the imagery that the author is trying to project. no one has any idea as to what wants to prove or if there even is something that he needs to prove. he may have meant all of these in a figurative way that never really got to the reader's creative perception. if this was some kind of joke, no one's really laughing about it.
in a way, i know where the writer pulled it out from. probably has to do with suppressed emotions that triggers certain visuals that would prove to be artistic if not put in a blunt way. there was a need to create fictitious characters and the lack thereof was what ruined him. now, with reactions formed and emotions flooded. there's really no way as to bring back that which has been done. retractions were demanded but there never was any for he probably claims that this is his reality.

now, he's not appreciated in his own time and i don't think he never will be and that's what turned his artistry into monstrocity...

the quest for ardee's holy grail - from chel

2004-08-04T04:43:00.000+08:00

the quest for ardee's holy grail - from chel

[just thought it would be nice to have this as the first entry.. thanks hag!! love yah!! ]

What if, suddenly and without meaning to, your life fell into place, like a 10,000 piece jigsaw puzzle set in the likeness of Davinci's Mona Lisa put together after laboring on it for weeks and weeks. What then? Would you savor the accomplishment by having it framed, with a gold-plated border and hang it where people could admire the it all the time so you can brag that you did it without any kind of help in only a matter of weeks. Or would you disassemble it again piece by piece losing interest in it then just chucking the pieces back into the box where it would just become some child's plaything where it would get discarded too as soon as the child loses his taste for it.Someone confided in me that he'd just found his inner peace after losing it and searching for it years and years ago. I was happy for him, truly I was. I've never so much envied him as he said that after being lost for the past couple of years, there he was, suddenly at peace with himself and to those that surrounded him. While I, holding no less than a college degree to my belt with some minor accomplishments on the side, still feels as if I'm not making any headway at all in the grand design of my so-called life. After battling emotional demons, getting heavily scarred from it in the process, my friend has sought and found calm. He is at peace. He is tranquil. Or so he thought. His was the voice of reason. Not one people could count to him for advices, words of wisdom, and a listening ear. He would not offer half-baked advices, he would just listen and to those people who needs it the most, people who had so much to say but no one to say it to, that was enough. Even I had been guilty of foisting my trivial, sometimes not-so-trivial concerns, and he had been there. Always. Like clockwork. There were days when I would not hear from him for days, weeks even, but he'd call whenever I need him the most (usually Sundays). But I'd forgotten that even those who listen needs to be listened to sometimes. He is human after all. And human wants and needs for his survival. Even if there was nothing to want anymore, because as I've said to him, sometimes it's the chase we want. And if we do get what we wanted, what do we do with it? Is it the same thing that we wanted in the first place? Should we have it framed, for the entire world to see or should we keep it in a box, tie it with a red ribbon and shove it under the bed? It's a vicious circle, isn't it? We want what we cannot have and when we do acquire it, we long to be what we were before we got what we thought we wanted (I'm sooo confused right now). One can easily wish that he need not grow up, get older and die ultimately or not fall in love and get hurt but if, on some strange circumstance his wish be granted, where should he go then? We were designed to be forever discontented. As a child, we long to eat gloopy Hershey's bar and peanuts M&M's from morning til night until our teeth and stomach would ache we would ask our parents for a glass of warm milk or a plate of peanut butter sandwiches. It would go on and on until we get older, us, wanting to live our lives the way we wanted to. Wanting immortality by clinging to our material, emotional, and erotic wants. But suppose we earn all the money there is to earn in the world, fallen in and out of love, and fucked our lives away, what do we do then? Should we voluntary wish for death to come and take us away from all the superficialities that we thought we once wanted? What? What then?

about chel

2004-08-03T16:45:00.000+08:00

about chel

chel, whom i call hag, and who also goes by the name flaming peach is my one and only hag (aside from karen, that is). we met through a mutual friend (karen) 2 years ago. i never knew that we'd be this close...because what brought us together originally was our love for the show 'charmed.' now chel knows me more than i know myself... and god, she, is much of a whore than i am (rolling on the floor laughing!!!). chel and i could talk for hours over coffee or bottles of San Miguel Strong Ice and never run out of things to talk, diss, or laugh about. chel and i have this weird intution thing between us and we've proven on more than one occasion that we could read each other's minds. we both like older men, and as far as i know, we've never lied to each other. as mentioned before, she knows more stuff about me than most people i know (including myself) and vice versa. chel is my hag, and i am her fag. =p